Thoughts in the Toilet

LONE ranger; lonely ranger? POWER RANGER!!!

2009-06-28T01:02:00.003+08:00

there's one place that we normally enter alone. i mean unless you're feeling real steamed and well, let's not carry on there. the toilet is really one of the few places that we almost always go in alone. of course i'm speaking of a cubicle, not the whole darn huge restroom; cos i know girls almost never ever go in alone.

i realised while talking with one of my friends today, that people tend to really be worried about what others think about them. then i also recall something else another of my friends said - ri jiu jian ren xin. which literally translates to day long see person heart. which well, means time reveals ones true self.

it was a fantastic day as i did something few people would do. of course that doesn't refer to the balancing act i accomplished walking on the railing of a bridge to the other side of the huge long kang. it was something less adventurous. but somehow my friend was almost appalled by my doing so. he mentioned in slight flabbergast, that he would never ever do something like that.

he'd never shop alone, said he.

well, i just did. and i think he's not the only one who wouldn't do that. i'm not too sure exactly how many people do that, but i know everyone my in family does that. my mum shops alone and so does my sister sometimes, and so does my dad! and i was and still am very glad that i shopped alone today. good deals, good bargains, all with the swipe of a card. sounds quite like a spendthrift eh? well i splurged out full on that one day. they say retail therapy does work, now i can vouch on it.

so why is it that people don't like shopping alone? i think it's pretty much the fear that others will think that you're lonely and don't have friends. but we all do right? so we're not lonely cos we have friends, just that the general public doesn't perceive so. sometimes i figure we seek too desperately the acceptance of society too much to live life the way we might really want it to be.

also i think there's a huge difference between loneliness and being alone. loneliness is an emotion, while being alone is a physical circumstance where by one is by oneself, with no one else physically in the vacinity. bet you've heard of friends telling you before that they don't feel happy at a party and he/she says that he/she is upset cos she feels lonely. so we realise that it's not so much so the physical state, rather the emotional or mental state that defines such. so come on people, who cares if you're alone or not! it's cool to shop alone! i've got a cool mummy who does that. and i beleive sometimes, shopping alone reaps the greatest amount of satisfaction, oh yes it does!

SKIN food!!

2009-06-19T21:43:00.004+08:00

girls spend alost half their lives in toilets. of couse that's a hyperbole. but the thing is that now guys are starting to spend equally long times in the toilet too! but what do we actually do in there? well, most people wash up, bathe and put on make up, you know, stuff like that? i mean i do all those stuff too! just well, not so much of the last one.

let's talk a little bit about us, in the toilet.

no no noNO!! i mean a very general inclusive us! not a me and you alone together kinda us!! ^^''

ok yes i as i was saying, when we're in toilet's we other than passing out biowaste, as we spoke about in the previous article, we clean ourselves most of the time. and almost all the time, we're cleaning something we call the skin! the skin, of course, being the largest organ in our body. also in the last article, we spoke of food. have you ever wondered what kind of foods skin eat?

well, i'm not someone who has fantastic skin or anything. i remember the time my mummy pulled me to do a facial cos she signed up for too many for herself t finish using ^^. i vividly recall myself being strapped down to the bed and squirming in pain as the facialist worked her way across my forehead. ZOMG! the intensity of the pain could knock a turkey out of a tree assuming it could even get up in the first place. the facialist gave me the guilty ^^'' look and said in chinese, "really that pain ah... well, normall first time is like that one. you know, it's really god's gift to have good skin." and i agree. cos you don't have to get sent here for torture by yor parents!!! but it is really true, that having good skin is a blessing. sometimes achne can really get one our nerves as teenagers.

so with that on mind, i decided to read up a little on how to take care of our skin. i had very thoughtful friends who couldn't stand my face anymore and took the liberty to buy me facial cream. apparently it was quite very expensive, like many other skin products eg SKII, SKII whitening and umm ... i'm pretty sure there'd be SK(one) right? ^^'' i mean, since there's a II? but that's not the point.

the skin is part of us, thus needs to feed too, just like it needs to breathe. bet you never knew that the skin is an ecosystem on it's own! allow me to elaborate!

the skin supports its own ecosystems of microorganisms, including yeasts and bacteria, which cannot be removed by any amount of cleaning. then you wonder why bathe? read on, i'll explain it later. but don't you go telling mummy that it's pointless bathing cos the bacteria won't come off anywae. ok let's move on. there are huge numbers, into the millions, of bacteria on our skin, but despite these vast quantities, all of that would fit into a volume the size of a pea.

in general, the microorganisms keep one another in check and are part of a healthy skin. just like ying and yang, when the balance is disturbed, there may be an overgrowth and infection, such as when antibiotics kill microbes, resulting in an overgrowth of yeast.

ok now for why bathe.

proper skin hygiene is important because unclean skin favors the development of pathogenic organisms. dead cells that continually slough off the epidermis mix with the secretions of the sweat and sebaceous glands, as well as the dust found on the skin form a filthy layer on its surface. if not washed away(ie if you don't bathe, you dirty fellow), the slurry of sweat and sebaceous secretions mixed with dirt and dead skin is decomposed by bacterial flora, producing a foul smell. and this, is what we call BO! the functions of the skin are disturbed when it is excessively dirty thus becoming more easily damaged. the release of antibacterial compounds also decreases, and dirty skin is more prone to develop infections.

but what is the real concern here? i think it's really more of pimples, blackheads, and blemishes and such stuffs. oh but before we continue, i have a racist joke! ok this is purely for a good laugh, so please don't get violent about it. i love all races and embrace them with all love and sincereity. but nevertheless i shall still tell the joke. ^^

why can't indians go for facials?

...

because they'd have they're black heads removed!!! ZOMG!!! this is so funny!!!

ok yes. speaking of black heads. what exactly causes it? many say oily skin. well they're not wrong (=

oily skin is caused by over-active sebaceous glands, that produce a substance called sebum, a naturally healthy skin lubricant. when the skin produces excessive sebum, it becomes heavy and thick in texture. having oily-skin type is not necessarily bad, since such skin is less prone to wrinkling, or other signs of aging, all because the oil helps to keep needed moisture locked into the epidermis(outermost layer of skin).

the negative aspect of the oily-skin type however, is that oily complexions are especially susceptible to clogged pores, blackheads, and buildup of dead skin cells on the surface of the skin. oily skin can be sallow and rough in texture and tends to have large, clearly visible pores everywhere, except around the eyes and neck. so... what do we do? ^^''

well this is one thing not to do, from what i've learnt. do NOT sevrely degrease your skin. the sebaceous glands would go like 0.o no more oil?! WTH!! i just disbatched a whole unit of it. dang... never mind. i'll give two units this time around. lol. so don't degease your skin like that. sebum is good stuff, just like veggie is.

speaking of veg, that's something you should do! the vitamins and minerals in vegetables are good for your skin too! here are some of the top 5 foods when it comes to skin food ^^

- Green Tea

green tea is rich in antioxidants(really good stuff) that reduce inflammation and protect cell membranes. it reduces the damage of sunburns and overexposure to ultraviolet light(oh yes so does aloe vera. very cooling for the skin ^^), which in turn reduces the risk of skin cancer. on that note, green tea is also high in polyphenols, a compound that eliminate cancer. on top of all that, the mega plus point is that green tea also acts as a "FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH" of sorts for skin by reactivating dying skin cells. it is high in vitamins C, D and K, as well as riboflavin, zinc, calcium, magnesium and iron.

- Salmon

salmon, along with walnuts and flaxseed and i'm pretty sure other stuffs too, is high in healthy fatty acids that are key for achieving healthy skin. essential fatty acids such as omega-3(isn't that some weird element from this weird movie that stops time for 3 seconds? 0.o) help keep cell membranes healthy by filtering out harmful substances, but at the same time allowing nutrients to enter cells and exit with waste products. omega-3 also reduces the body's production of inflammatory agents that can damage the skin. salmon is also rich in protein, potassium, selenium and vitamin B12.

- Blueberries

blueberries are considered by many experts to be the highest food source of antioxidants, which target free radicals that can wreak havoc on skin cells.(like i mentioned above in green tea) and there's the catch - when skin cells are protected from damage and disintegration, the skin looks younger for longer. blueberries are also an excellent source of soluble and insoluble fiber, vitamin C, manganese, vitamin E and riboflavin.

- Carrots

carrots are ~~the most disgusting thing on earth and thus should be banned!!!~~ an excellent source of vitamin A, which is a required nutrient for healthy skin. similar to all many of the other top 5s, they also contain high levels of antioxidants, which once again, prevents free radical damage of skin cells. vitamin A is required for developing and maintaining skin cells, and a deficiency of the vitamin can cause dry skin. carrots are also a superior source of fiber, biotin, vitamins K, C and B6, potassium and thiamine.

- Water

and most imporantly, WATER! drinking plenty of water will help keep your skin young and healthy-looking. water in caffeinated or sugary beverages does not count, so don't start pumping yourself with FnN and glucous. water intake must be from pure, clean water, which rejuvenates skin cells. Water both hydrates cells and helps them move toxins out and nutrients in. when the body is properly hydrated, it sweats more efficiently, which helps keep the skin clean and clear. that's also why if you drink a hell not of water, you don't stink that bad! ^^

- Rest

and of course i added this in myself. rest is something that's really really important. make sure you sleep early and ensure at least 7 hours of undisturbed rest. the 11th hour would be the most suggested time cos that's the rough time where you body starts it's rejuvination process. and 2 am is the time when the skin cells rejuvinate the fastest. so basically i'm ruining my skin by writing this article ^^ but for you, it's worth it. just like maybelline says, because you're worth it.

coming to this point, i'd like to bring to our attention, that the more effective ways of having good skin, is really the natural way. so i'm going to leave us with some nifty recepies for skin food, but this time more for appication rather than consumption. let's pamper our skins with good old home made food!

well, depending on your skin type, here are some great masks to try ^^

The Three Choices

for oily skin use some plain milk of magnesia, rub it on and let dry, then rinse with lukewarm water. it absorbs oil wonderfully!

for normal/combination skin mix one egg and 1/2 cup cooked instant oatmeal and a teaspoon olive oil until smooth. spread on your face and leave 15 min then rinse.

for dry skin, mix one egg yolk, one teaspoon honey and a teaspoon olive oil and some vitamin E oil if you have it. smooth on and leave on for 15 min. , rinse in lukewarm water and pat dry. if your skin is a bit dry you can put a dab or two of either olive oil, or any other light oil, or plain crisco if you want something heavier, on your moist skin after washing or a mask and your face is set without the $$ some people spend for the same look.

(with curtesy of Jamie L.)

Homemade Facial Scrub Instead of Soap

first, clean your face with water only. never use soap. you can open your pores with hot compresses (washcloth) for a facial scrub, moisten oatmeal to a "goo", use it to scrub your face (not around your eyes). wash off with cool water. you may also make a paste of the oatmeal and allow it to dry, then remove with cool water. you may also beat an egg white, put it on your face and let it dry, rinse with cool water. sliced fresh cucumber placed on your closed eyes will reduce bagginess and dark circles. to make your hair shine, rub in some regular mayonnaise,shampoo out after 15 minutes.

(with curtesy of Sonja in Goose Creek)

Honey for Best Facial

the best facial mask that i have found is honey. use warm cloth to open pores, smear on honey, leave on 15 to 30 minutes, rinse off with warm water, and then use cold water to close pores. Use for 3 days in a row and then once a week. sometimes i mix a little gound oatmeal with the honey, which makes a great mask, mm hmm!

(with curtesy of Carol)

Match Mask to Your Skin Type

for trouble-prone skin, mix oatmeal with water to form a paste.
for normal to oily skin, use an egg white.
for dry skin, use an egg yolk.
in all cases, spread mixture on face and allow to dry. rinse thoroughly with cool water.
for oily skin, witch hazel makes an inexpensive toner.
for dry skin, you may want to add moisturizer while skin is still damp.

(with curtesy of Susan)

Steam Them OUT!!

you could try boiling away your troubles too! boil pure water and allow it to steam your face. this will help to open all the pores, allowing it to be cleaned more conveniently. of course don't dip your face into the water or it'll become one hude pimple on the neck. apply baking soda paste(which is 3 parts soda, 1 part water) and scrub your face, but don't be too rough. then, gently rinse with cool water and allow the pores to close up again. this helps to losen and remove blackheads from that smooth visage of yours.

another thing that's good is to do for achne is to boil green tea! as mentioned above, green tea is good for the skin. using three green tea bags, or roughly four teaspoonfuls of loose green tea leaves, mix it all up with six tablespoons of chopped stem ginger and boil with about 250ml of water. put a towel around your neck and bend over the steam so as to prevent it from escaping. this should last for around ten minutes. try doing it twice daily until the infection has cleared. ^^

Use three Green Tea bags, or four teaspoonfuls of loose leaf Green Tea, mix with six tablespoons of chopped stem ginger and boil in two hundred and fifty milliliters of water. You should hold your face over the steam from this treatment for around ten minutes, twice daily until the infection has cleared.

(hope it helped! ^^ me)

SPICED it up!!!

2009-06-18T13:57:00.002+08:00

have you ever wondered where the shit comes from? i mean, why do we have this endless supply of bio waste coming out of our ends? well i'm sure we all know the answer! it's because of the food we eat. well that explanation's pretty simple. allow me to explain this gastronomical process, so that you could digest it better. HAHAHA! a PUN!

now let me begin.

shit is also known as something called feces, which is defined as undigested waste which has some of it's water content removed from it. the process of the removal of hydro content takes place in the colon, also known as the large intestines, thus resulting in a semi-solid entity by which we term as shit, feces, poo, dung, da bian or shi. some however, term it wrongly by calling it waste, just like i did. but in fact shit, feces, poo, dung, da bian or shi, is not a waste. these are some of the many uses of shit, feces, poo, dung, da bian and shi.

- shit, the swear word

- feces fragmentation grenades

- poo mines

- dung bombs

- a bowl of da bian

- the common chinese insult when if comes to the table, ni qu chi shi ba!

- fertilizer

that's why shit, feces, poo, dung, da bian or shi, is not a waste. but that wasn't really the whole point of anything at all. now let us recall - shit, feces, poo, dung, da bian or shi, comes from undigested food, which comes from food that wanted to be digested, could be digested, but wasn't digested. now isn't that such a waste? so in the end, shit, feces, poo, dung, da bian or shi, is a waste!

speaking of all this brings us to the source, the origins of all shit, feces, poo, dung, da bian and shi - food.

now food itself is life. it was life, is life and does give life too. food gives us energy and for food to become good food, excellent food, and mouth-watering-salivating-and-gastronomically-orgasm-inducing food, one step MUST come into place. and YES! the answer is COOKING!

so what exactly is cooking all about. now let me share with us a definition of cook i found quite interestingly accurate. cooking refers to the application of heat to food.

yes.

yupp.

mm hmm, that's it. so does the statement cooking a salad stand true?

YES IT DOES! only if you apply heat to it... but adding thousand islands and mayonnaise to your greens does NOT count as cooking; no it doesn't.

yatta.

*~*

i've been recently interested in the form of culinary arts. experimenting with heat and playing with fire. well, i found out this certain thing that i felt was rather interesting - very few foods have a obvious unique taste to them. there are a few who do for example, salmon, cod, carrot, bitter gourd and stuff. the rest pretty much has no special striking taste to it. then what exactly makes things more tasty then others? it's the seasoning. the salt, the pepper and the many different spices like rosemary, basal, lemon grass, olive and such. these are the stuff that HAVE a striking taste to them, but strangely are not widely eaten as individual entities. instead they are often used to flavour other foods. so why not eat the tasty stuff straight? why bother going through the hassle to put it on something bland and almost tasteless? because of texture. well i'm not too sure if this equation would work but...

food = texture x taste

thus... depending on preference, you find a subject(referring to the meat or veg; generally speaking the bland and tasteless stuff) the pleases pallet, then again, depending on your preference, find a seasoning(referring to salt pepper; the basic sugar, spice and everything nice) that pleases your tongue!

and you pretty much have it!

this is what i've come to believe(for me at least) what the creation of food should be like. a nice combination of these two components ie. taste and texture, to build up to one new delicious meal!

as of now friends, i shall be continuing my experiments in the kitchen to find out in greater detail about what cooking really is like, through my perception. well, any tips you have for me, or anything you'd like me to find out for you, or anyone out there wanting to ask me out ^^, well drop me a call or an email. that'll be 96965496 and trombone.todd@hotmail.com

whoa... i sound like some mail-me-in advisory board thingy. but really, i'd like to be hearing from us. like i really really wanna learn more about cooking!

puurCHAAAK!!

CATCHING a twenty winks

2008-10-02T21:12:00.004+08:00

have you ever fallen asleep in the toilet before? well, i have. i remember lying on the floor like a dead log only to be awoken again by the intense and persistent knocks on the door calling for me to get out before i would be late for school. i swear, i thought the door was going to collapse. but that's not the point. or maybe that's a little bit of the point. but nevertheless, join me in the toilet. let me tell you a story.

*shimmers in*

it was late at night and the clock had just struck thirteen. it was silent all around, except for the light snores of the sleeping. then, came the soft distant footsteps, of something; someone. it was me.

*shimmers out*

and then you start wondering. huh?!
but it's ok, i don't quite get it either. but one thing i know is that i've AWOKEN!

*~*

it's been a pretty darn long while since the last time i really had the time to sit down and write. let's try to recall. i had my exams, then i started working, which was quite a blast of an experience that i find it hard to put into words. then destiny called and i was summoned to serve the nation of which i did so with as much enthusiasm as i could muster. which wasn't much to be absolutely honest! but let's leave that topic of national service for it is utmost taboo.

speaking of which, i felt that this long slumber(put it nicely, metamorphosis; not so nicely, a come back!; disgustingly blatant, i got bored and decided to start writing again) passed like a nightmarish dream-like fantasy fairytale. so which one exactly is it, well i find it hard to put a finger on it. i guess just like how everything always turns out, you kind of have a mixture of the ups and the downs the good and the bads, all mixed up in one huge emotional rojak bowl. BUT it wasn't all that bad! there's always beauty in what we see. sometimes we just have to learn to look.

you know our dear mother land, the one whom i'm currently serving now? comments have always been that it's so small, so boring, nothing to do at all. i used to think so too. early this year(2009), i was starting to get tremendously bored because i didn't know what to do at all. it was always "let's GO TO THE MALL!!!", or "let's go have a meal!!!". but something i learnt was really that, it's not about where you go, or what's there to do. it's about who you go with and what you do where you go. here, let me care to elaborate. where do i start...

my childhood used to be one that was all about running. i used to naively believe that i could out run an airplane. i would stick out my arms and run like ash ketchum running down a hill at the end of an episode 'cos he earned himself a new badge. *mm. sometimes i really wonder, how much are these badges worth 0.o i mean, i slogged my ass of to do young scientist projects to earn their badges, but they were never worth more than a dollar or more. well then this brings us to the topic of recognition of merit and meritocracy, BUT! let's not digress*

mm. makes me wonder, why did i start with my childhood in the first place... *faints*

OKAY! let's skip all that and... heeh? what was i supposed to narrate? *scrolls up to check*

oh yes ASH KETCHUP! heeh? 0.o no no no... wrong wrong. i mean to say ASH KETCHUM!

but that's still besides the point. what i really mean to say is that an interesting movie watched alone is boring, but a stupid movie(i'm referring of course to chick flicks! ^^) watched with good company(i'm referring of course to chicks! ^^) is just purely awesome! (= in any case, ever since i came out from army, it brought back my childhood to me(which well, was ash ketchum-y). so i came to realise that whether an outing is boring or not depends on the activity and the company, not the place! so stop blaming our mother land for being small, instead try bringing back our childhood minds and creativity and churn up some interesting activities. and be a sport too! have some fun ^^

and i'll just end here for the time being! it's been a long long while since i wrote, and i have a lot of things to catch up on. next time, we'll be fighting sugar and spices that hopefully taste pretty nice!

CHAKRA!!!! mud mud mud mud mud mud...

EVIL to live

2008-09-30T23:57:00.003+08:00

often, we like to be philosophical and ponder over topics like morality and other lofty issues that, like a pontoon, simply floats about in subjectively and never seems to come to a rooted conclusion. what is evil, is definitely one such question. surely killing is evil right? ever noticed how the victims in the movies always die in the toilets? but then again that's just to add to the thrill of seeing a naked woman in the bath right? let me see... now if it were a man, and he were showering, and a killer comes along. how would that look? i'll leave that to you to ponder.

i was talking with estelle just now at the hub. sometime had reminded me of my dreams and i made a sweeping statement on how i didn't really like my dreams. but then again now come to think of it, i never really liked or hated dreams. i just will either be intrigued, excited, or disgusted about them. well for one i like dreams. i think they always say something about you. which is bad. cos i've been dreaming up pretty violent dreams the past few months. the day before i went to RJC to talk with yufang, i had the dream about vampires, and that i sucked 2 kids dry and tried so very hard to resist moving on to their grand mother. all vulnerable and helpless, it would have been so easy for me to just take a bite. and trust me i wanted to. i swear i felt the thirst of a vampire. but i hope it was just semi dehydration that caused something like that.

then there was the dream where i practically sliced up half of the school population just so i could get out of the shithole of a god knows what place i was in. and wielding those long daggers, i think they were like the japanese sai, just a little longer.

and there i was slicing up everyone's limbs and clearing the path, throwing body parts off the rails and kicking them out of the way. it was intense i tell you.

then there was the one about the stupidly pain immune pirate gollum, who tanked all my attacks and refused to move, so i took the pleasure in slicing him up to pieces after killing off all the other pirates in the area. but no matter what, he just refused to die. and these are some of the instances where i'm killing. there were times before where i was the victim. even more intense, even scarier.

there was once the dream about this demon dude who had the power of life reversal. which meant that he could turn you back into a fetus. which sucks. seriously. that whole dream was filled with fetus and zygotes and aborted baby body parts stored in jars, suspended in alcohol. disgusting. so my 2 friends and i were the last three on his target list. and he was after me. i ran for my life. like seriously, i was genuinely scared. scared out of my pants. then i came to a point where i sneaked into his apartment while he was out trying to sniff me out, and i saw the whole collection of all his victims, fetus and all. zomg. and then there was this elaborate plan made to seek the help of some other beings who had a little experience in dealing with him. and there was a lot more running, and trying to kill him off and ever thing. zomg that one's real scary.

and then there's the first dream i ever remembered myself having. my dad, after he killed off my mother and sister, took pleasure in carefully piercing my throat with a chinese sword. it sank in like a hot knife through butter. and i could feel the metallic coldness of the sword as it went in, followed by a choking breathlessness as air leaked out. i couldn't breathe and i woke up crying and choking, still trying hard to breath in reality.

well, estelle had this oh-gosh-you-are-a-freak look on her face. well, i don't kill, but i don't deny thinking about it. sometimes i think, to some extent, i'm worse than amanda when it comes to these stuff, cos the dreams do tell. 日有所思，夜有所梦, or so they say. i don't know how true it is, but i just hope this dark side of me doesn't show.

if one day, there is blood on my hands and i say blood? what blood? that's just red nail polish! nonsense! then please do something about it k?

STUDIES of(in) the toilet

2008-09-29T13:40:00.003+08:00

you know why toilets should have good lighting? because more than half of the stuff we read is read in the toilet. disagree? well consider schools a mega shit hole and there you have it. but nevertheless you have to agree that we do read in toilets. i mean, it's not rare for a man to bring in the morning papers to read over the edge of the U bend right? and it's probably one of the only types of multi-tasking that men can achieve - shit and read. if you're wondering, i'm not a woman, and i'm not feminist either. i just well, ... ... yea.

no, i'm not gay either.

anyway, back to the point. toilets can be a place to read stuff. in fact if can be a place for anything, including studying. now with the up coming O and A level examinations just around the corner, fast food outlets are no longer conducive for eating 'cos all you see is armies of students mugging over piles and piles of books. then you think, why not grab a mug of coffee at star bucks? but to your horror, you realise that the mug you wanted wasn't quite the mug that they had to offer. so basically, all cheap food outlets have been taken over by students. including food courts. trust me. i've been there, done that. yeeeup! kopitiam at vivo city. ultimately, study outlets of all the weirdest spots have all be taken up, and late students realise that they no longer have places to study! HOW? here's your answer.

toilets.

yess! and i will show you how it can be a possible study location. and it was with this initial idea that i had embarked on a study to see if toilets can be conducive for studying. and it can! so, here goes...

subject - the lavatory, or commonly known as the loo, toilet, WC, bathroom, gents, ladies, restroom and potted plant
research objective - to find out if the lavatory can be a location for study
hypothesis - the lavatory can indeed be a possible location for self study, in fact in some cases, promote the productivity of knowledge absorption

research phase 1 - basic research

and so i decided to start out first by looking at the designs of toilets, so i did a little google image search and here's what i came up with.

the japanese style squat toilet. definitely an alternative to sitting down and studying. they say the restless can't sit still. bet they can squat still!

studying engineering? check out the industrial-pipe-look-alike toilet design from sanindusa

the julien bench toilet! now doesn't this resemble those things you sit at to do work? yup! my point exactly.

and take a seat by the light to read up on your content subjects!

and consider future prospects for certain subjects like science and GP? i'm sure this will be a muse to you!

how about history, you say. surely i haven't forgotten you have i (=

burning mid night oil? bet this will be useful!

need more space? why not up size!

and yes, if you're wondering, it is a house. but nevertheless, still a toilet.

and YES! it's REAL! as real as the stuff you shit out! (=

now doesn't this toilet look a little like a crater? well perhaps it is! everything you'll ever need for studying astrology!

and not forgetting geography! experience land irrigation yourself! (=

SO! looking by the pictures, we can see that toilets definitely do offer a decent environment for studying, in some cases, even enhancing the environment, and boosting mental capacity for various subjects! with so many benefits, why not mug in the loo?

research phase 2 - evaluation of research

at first sight, these ideas might seem but only too good to be true. as a researcher, it's only right that i be critical of my own findings. so let's take a second look.

... ...

... ...

and i was right! the newly gathered information from research phase 1 is certainly reliable and google never lies. on top of that, my sources tell me that these pictures have not be tampered with, thus proving these sources reliable.

possibly, toilets can be said to be the next top choice for studying! i mean come on. don't be too skeptical. think of the wonders! come on work with me. think...

you see? now you share my revolutionary ideas? rhouhahaha! my children, don't look at the world simply over the edge of the U bend. look deeper and look at what is within, for whether sinking or floating, it is only through it that you will experience the future. it's only when you look, that you will see, my child. similarly, it is only when you breathe, that you will smell. so look, and only look. smell not the deceptive aroma of the future for it will be only make you see bleakness and realise how stinky it is.

so anyway, after evaluating the research material, the next stage is to put it to practical use.

research phase 3 - the practical use

we now attempt to consider if it would be a practical option.

now scroll up again and take a good look at the pictures, and imagine, with all the fantasy you can muster, you in it. of course if you want to add a friend i wouldn't mind. mm mmm...

now think about it...

- toilet study can promote a viable location to study.
- toilet study can promote a proper environment to be alone, without distractions.
- toilet study can provide one with muse and inspiration for more effective study.
- toilet study can provide one with hands on experience in certain fields(literally, fields).
- toilet study can provide one with an immediate outlet for verbal diarrhoea .
- toilet study can provide one with a practical outlet for diarrhoea.
- toilet study can provide one with a bench just the right high for taking power naps.
- toilet study can provide one with all the water one would need to last through the session. remember, to stay healthy, mama says, drink more water.
- toilet study can provide one with a privet location for a well deserved make out session after many hours of work.

the only problem would then be the smell. but fret not! for there are many products that will musk it.

there you have it! give it a little spray and say buhbye to nasty smells!

which you actually don't have to bother much with as long as you don't use the bowl for any other purpose.

research phase 4 - conclusion

i thus conclude that the toilet IS a possible and in fact, good place to study. so my friends. grab your cans of spray sprays and join me for a studying session, in the toilet.

see you there my friends, and good luck for the exams. work hard yo! <3, the toilet connoisseur

MY addiction

2008-09-26T15:02:00.001+08:00

i once knew someone who was addicted to laxatives. please don't ask me how he got addicted to it in the first place because i don't know and wouldn't want to know; but my thoughts are that it's the feeling of final release that is pleasing. in sexual terms - the big O, orgasm; in musical terms - the climax; in singaporean terms - wah! SHIOK!; in toilet jargon - ahhh... wah lucky sit down in time sia! so, every few hours you'll see him running outside classrooms, along the corridors, into the toilet to, well, deliver. according to him, there's nothing solid that comes out of it. it's all just water. and it dehydrates. god knows why he still does it...

my addiction, is something much different. and i guess you'd probably guessed it. music. i've asked this question before, maybe not to you, but i'm pretty sure, many others. and the question goes like this.

would you rather lose your sense of sight, or your sense of hearing.

my answer is my sense of sight. i cannot imagine living in a world of silence. of course many people can understand, knowing how noisy i can be. they always say, 人没到声音就到。but really, i cannot imagine how it'd be like.

so i'm addicted to music, and to dance, and to art too. it seems the rhythm is about everything in my life. rhythm is the basis to music and dance. i'm not sure about art, but i'm addicted to funky rhythms and strong beats; everything that sets my head poppin. can you imagine a life without music? without music, life would be a mistake.

i was talking to sharyl just, and i was wondering what the future has installed for us. and she was saying that she wanted to do some bio stuff to better the medical scene and create stronger antibiotics. and also to take up the takashimaya art scholarship to study art and design for taka. cool eh? and there i was wondering what i wanted to do. well, i did want to make a difference in the world, one person at a time if i have to. but i don't even know if i am fit to do so. somehow, if god does exist, i get the feeling that's what he wants me to do. one thing for sure, is that i want to spread music to the world. it has a magical healing power that i can't explain. and it works wonders for me. maybe that's why i'm addicted to it. loving it too much. i wonder if one day, i can make it big enough to be able to open doors to music for people.

well, i want to teach too. maybe i got this off my mum but i find teaching a very inspiring job. definitely not teaching as in school and stuff, cos those stuff just freak me out. after 12 years in the education system, once i'm out i'm never going back in again. i worked with collin before, for a couple of months, teaching music, and it was the most interesting few months i have ever come across. and being an SL for so many years, i've experienced the joys of teaching music. and trust me it is great. maybe through teaching music, i can make a difference in the lives of people? i hope i can. i really do.

so here i am, holding high hopes i hope won't shatter.

MY music is finally coming back again!

2008-09-20T22:42:00.003+08:00

nothing to do with toilets, this one. really. um. ok maybe not. i did think up some of it in the toilet. yes i did! see, my point. toilets are a good place to think up stuff. and this time, it's something really big.

i had run out of muse recently. somehow, when i sat at the piano or when i play my instruments, sometimes i just stagger at the notes as moments of musical blackouts just barge it's way through my works. remember the book i once mentioned(Do Dead People Watch You Shower)? it had a mention of how the dead people's world had a hall of records, that has all sorts of music. and that god gives them music. and when composers of the world of the living compose songs, they are but simply tuned in to the energies of this hall of records. personally, i don't think that's really true. i mean...

or...

lol and here we see people dying to visit the hall of records...

wow. looking reeeaaally cool! but no. i still don't think it's the case. but then i really would never know. what mattered was this. last night, i switched off the lights and aimed the spotlight down at the piano. then i closed everything up and hushed down the room so that it was really nice and cozy and emo. i closed my eyes and i told myself. ok, my angel of muse, i summon you, my music. then it came, slowly. and it was great.

ok this was how it worked. (first moment was a picture of a flower. take a look inside my brain)

thoughts...

white flower nice petals wow looks really nice and with all the green grass down there oh there's not only the flower there's grass as well and there's more there's trees and bushes and what's this whole thing called it's called nature nature nature nature sings in the key of C major which means i can start with that what time of the day has beautiful scenes of nature that would be the morning which means maybe i should start with the first rays of sun to peek above the horizon that's really nice ok let's try something...

in an attempt to mimic a bird like sound, i hit down on the notes C and D together to create a certain tonal dissonance. then i added in the A note and liked the sound of it too, so i continued to add notes, each chord hit on 4 crochets. so...

CD x4
CDA x4
CDAE x4
CDAEB x4
CDAEBG x4
CDAEBGE x4

there. and then very naturally i hit a double F major tonic triad to bring it "home". then eh? the key changed! and things continued to happen...

so i let it flow. the music. there was no structure to my writing of the piece. i just played what i felt like playing. as they say, go through the motion, and you'll lose emotion. no need for structure man! well, it came later. i made a list of things that i wanted to associate with the morning scene i had in my head...

dawn, sunrise, morning dew, mist, cool morning breeze, wet grass, flowers. and gosh! the more i thought the more i had, and the more i could develop it! you know how i feel about this? i am so darn excited i could make you stuff a lemon into the mouth of a polka dotted windsock! and tell you the best thing yet. it's going to be a duet!(the piece is not ready yet, in fact it just started. i'm not the morton goul type who write entire concertos overnight...)

so people! the duet is a piece that depicts the morning in the countryside. any suggestions for titles? does anyone want this piece dedicated to them? (=

THOUGHTS blurred

2008-09-18T20:49:00.002+08:00

you know what can blur you sometimes? the smell of an unmaintained toilet. yes. that can blur not only your vision but clog up your brain as well. so as much as possible, try staying away from such toilets. but this can't always be the case for the call of nature can be pretty overwhelming. so what you want to do is to practice to shit and run technique. this would mean that you take in a deep deep breath, run in, shit and run out again. take another deep breath and run in to wash your hands. there you have it. the shit and run technique.

the line between many things are starting to blur up. i've been spamming my brain and it hurts. sometimes i walk a little and then i start seeing double. sometimes i just want to stone; but sometimes, i don't even have the energy to stone cos i can't even sit up. and so that was how a spent about an hour in LT4, sleeping on the stage. i'm starting to get pretty worried though, about my condition. i was talking it out, and i concluded with one thing. i need love and affection. that's what i need to pull through. you know just a few weeks back, i met someone. she gave me love in some form, and just that little bit of affection gave me so much strength to pull through the whole of the prelims. but she's not quite here anymore. i don't know how to continue.

i need a hug. i need a really really really long hug and someone to tell me that he/she'll always be there for me. of course it'll look totally gay if a guy did that . . . ... never mind. i need someone to say i love you. i need to love someone, and feel the same love back in return. i need support, and need to give support too. this is too tough, too tiring. but then again, impossible is nothing right? why not just do it?. i wish. if i step back and take a look, i guess i'm still fine, not quite insane yet. i think. i just need. to meditate.

GOING through the shit

2008-09-17T20:49:00.003+08:00

in the middle of a long talk, seminar, lesson, or in fact any event, toilet breaks are always there. they're there for you to refresh yourself so that when you come back again, you'll be all freshen and ready to work. well, i think i need one.

things are getting worse as time crawls,or rather, flies by. the A level examination is heading straight this way like a 18-wheeler on the american highway. somehow, i don't know if i'm going to make it of break it. but do i have a choice? it's do or die, right? i think mine's more like do and die. don't do also die. ha. the point is really that i don't know if i am going to have the strength to go through this period.

i was thinking, on my way back home just now, how i ended up in this shit hole. i could have jolly well gone to a polytechnic and have a jolly much easier life. why did i chose to come here, to a JC. then i remembered. back then, that'll be two years ago, when i was preparing up for O lvls, i thought to myself - i am not disciplined. i am not ready. i want to get better, and i want to put myself through something really tough. only then can i really push myself to the limits. and then i put myself up for this torturous education. i wouldn't say it's a choice i enjoy, but it's a choice i'm not regretting. so here am i now, juggling workload, sneaking naps here and there, trying to fix some for of miraculous way to get the As that everyone is working to get a share of. i think i'm going to go crazy soon.

then i was thinking about what thow told me. he told me to go for OCS in NS. an experience, he said, it will be for me. i was thinking, it'll be fun, right? i mean, a whole new experience, something challenging, something to push me to my limits! sounds familiar doesn't it? and another 2 years of hell in the jungles. gosh. i really don't know if it's going to be a case where i'll be thinking ÄRGH!! what the hell am i doing in this shit hole when i could have gone to SAF band and had a jolly much easier time! well, i think i'm going to go for OCS then. and i'm thinking that i will probably not enjoy some parts of it. but life is a whole learning journey right? so hell with the shit you go through. it's always good shit that makes flowers bloom well. right?

AL, is for the way you look at me

2008-09-15T16:52:00.003+08:00

Tee is for toilet, where toilet is for everlasting joy, where everlasting joy is for love, and love is for you and me! aw.

recently, the topic of love has been coming up a lot all around me. then again maybe it has always been all around me just that i never noticed it. previously, i was in a state of emotional instability you see, and then something finally snapped me out of it; then i started to see things from a different perspective. here are the things i noted.

1. it is no use being sad. the only good it might ever bring is that the sorrow can trigger off the tears. then after you cry you feel better. but it doesn't work for me cos it's very hard for guys to cry. i really don't know why? tear gland insensitivity?

2. being upset might get people to ask you if you're alright. ok fine, you know that people care for you, but that is NOT the way you want to go. my friend once told me, whatever you do, don't do things that will affect other people's mood. as much as an individual you are, you will affect the moods of everyone else if you just sit there and sulk. don't do that ços it's selfish and it might just piss everyone off.

3. being happy is always better. do you know how contagious a smile can be? once i was on the bus, and i saw this wrinkled, old lady. i mean honestly, it wasn't the most pleasing sight, but i looked and her and i smiled. and those shriveled lips of hers parted and pulled into a perfect arc, and she bore her toothless smile back at me. i couldn't help smiling back again, and she couldn't stop smiling as well. i could see the joy in her eyes and the youth in her smile. so beautiful... well, then i got down the bus.

4. nothing beats saying hello or waving in a more than enthusiastic fashion. we all need acknowledgment. that's a fact. be it for our accomplishments or for our existence, it's something that we seek. it always sucks when you see someone you know and get ignored when you try to say hi. so why not make the big gesture and say the big hello and make it someone else's day. the next time he or she sees you, she's going to say that very same big hello back to you.

5. let you feelings be known. sometimes, the other person might just be waiting to tell you he or she loves you, the same way that you love him or her. take the first step. be honest. it's like how i love my little pebble. mm hmm, and i told her that. she said she loved me too! aw.

eh eh... no. we're not together. we just... like toilets.

love is something special. many people question what love actually is; many people associate it to kissing and sex; the movies portray love in BGRs and exciting, romantic, love relationships. i think love is much more to that. love is a commitment.

loving something/one means to care for it no matter what happens, or in what condition either is in. which means to say that if i love you, i'll still love you even if you shave your head bald, grow old, yell at me, or do any other unpleasant thing. i might not like it at all, but i still will love you; all because i care. thus we realise that making the choice to love is really a very heavy commitment. in fact it can be very hard to love. i was just thinking about it the other night, if it was possible to love what you don't like. loving something that you like is easy because loving would be something you would naturally want to do. but how about things that you don't like?

i had this chain email once, you know those stuff that will have FW;FW;FW;Fw;Fw; love! must read! as the subjet? yea. there was this little phrase in it which went like this -

learning to love starts of with loving the person you hate most.

- anonymous

wow. i don't know if it's possible, i have tried but i haven't been very successful. lol that doesn't make me a very good lover eh?. XD

an experiment was conducted on two batches of babies, one of them was provided with only food and water and air. everything they needed to survive. the other batch had the same, PLUS love are care from their 'parents'. after about two weeks, most of the babies in the first batch passed on. everyone in the second survived and were in the pink of health.

see? we all need love. think about it. spread the love. there are many people out there who need love. we all need love.

all you need is love

enjoy (=

PLAN and plan again!

2008-09-14T22:08:00.003+08:00

i like meddling with things. i mean, i think many guys do. i remember i used to meddle with the toilet flush in the days of my youth. now, i meddle with bigger and greater things. toilet water. very thing that works the toilet flush. you see, without water, the flush is USELESS! HA.

i really honestly thought that meddling stuff and putting things together would be something easy. i mean, you meddle with paint and paper, you get a painting. you meddle with the keys of the piano, you get a song. how easy is that! i was thinking i could meddle with a wooshi band(a black band used for tying hair) to make something out of it, and i realised that it didn't quite work. maybe i wasn't meddling it correctly? who knows.

but out of that whole meddling, i guess i learnt something. plan, before you do anything. which is good that i learnt this in time before i started meddling with my burlap bag. plans, are just as important as the event itself!

from literature essays, to warcraft games, to house building and girl courting. what you need is a plan. what i realised was that getting a rough idea is always easy. but when you come down to the details, that's where the problem starts. like i had a rough idea of what i wanted from meddling with the wooshi band. i was thinking if i could make a nice bracelet out of it, or a friendship band or something. but what i didn't think of was what exactly i wanted it to look like and what to put on it. then i didn't consider if i had those stuff, and where i could buy them if i didn't. basically you get ther point. i screwed up the meddling with stuff cos i didn't plan.

i started play warcraft say... this morning? after looking through the tutorial, i thought, ok! the plan is... let's build an army. cool plan. then i got owned. so i thought again. ok! i need to do it faster! well, i got owned again. ok! so we're not doing it fast enough. damage not enough. troops not enough. everything not enough. so i need to... spam my archers! shyt i got owned again. so i decided that this won't do. i sat down and i went to the details. two wisp to gold mine, two to lumber, one to moonwell. train 7 more wisp and build the the keep and the hunters thingy. while building training more wisp and build up ancient defence and army. summon hero and do the killing. ok that was my first detailed plan. and VICTORY! ok after that it didn't work anymore so i think i got lucky. so yea! point proven. even if planning doesn't work, you'll get lucky. at least once. mm hmm!

ok. so i just came up with another plan and i am going to try it out again! warcraft III, the frozen throne.

oh yea. to think about it, i'm such a noob gamer. at 18, after so many years, i finally sat down to have a game of warcraft. tsk tsk...

FRIENDSHIP, as once said by my pebble

2008-09-12T21:29:00.000+08:00

did i mention that i want pebbles in my dream toilet as well? well now i have. recently, i finally managed to open myself up again. i'm really really really happy that i managed it. i think it all started when i spoke to my god sis again. erm... after 2 years? many things happened i'd like to one day sit down and talk with her. did i mention she likes toilets too? so we could sit down over a cup of coffee, in a huge toilet and catch up.

i call her pebble cos she's a small, cute little girl. but that's not the point. you see, one of the things that really jumped at me was that she kept saying this line - count your blessings. it's not like i never did you know, just that sometimes a reminder really does help. and those three words had really helped be out the past few days.

i have friends and people who care.
i have a most wonderful section.
i have nice teachers.
i have a great mummy and daddy.
i am blessed with a brain that works fine(though i know many will beg to differ...)
i am blessed with a talent for music.
i am blessed that i was able to experience certain life-changing experiences, though painful.
i am blessed that i am well to do.
i am blessed with an able body.
i am blessed with the ability to learn fast.
there are people who i can love.
there are people who love me too.

and i really really appreciate all my friends. like really really. i wanna say this.

THE DRAMA MAMAs
johanna i love you! i really do. did you know you made be cry once cos you said something that really touched me? bet you didn't know that, but now you do. it really made a lot of difference. charmaine don't be upset! you're so much more fun when you're happy! and don't get upset. surely you wouldn't want to end up choosing to become that manipulative person you're not right?... amanda i love you too. i always loved the times when we're close and spend time talking about lawnmowers and darth vadars. i like feeling close to you. jayne i cannot stand you flirting with every guy you see lol. but you are someone to rely on. you're always there when i wanna eat my 40 piece chicken nuggets and mega upsized macspicy meal with added many more fries plus a mac chicken to top it off! XD sara-ann LMX thankew. there was something you did that made you cheer up. i don't think you actually realised but i really really thank you for it. heh weird receiving thanks for something you don't even know eh? june i love your huge smile! and even though those sugar biscuits aren't oreos, i'm still going to eat it that way. rachel DING you have to START COMING TO SCHOOL omg. here's something interesting. you were in my OG remember? the other day i saw you and i thought. wow. rachel's quite pretty leh... so come to school and flaunt your beauty. do the hair swish thing and attract all the attention in the world! ellanor its perhaps only 3 days that i've known you, but i appreciate your coming down and wooshi-band and talk and put up with my nonsense for that day at the bookshop. and you sing well. you do. mark for letting me hug you and teddify you everytime. you are damn round and soft! cute! if you were gay...

BANDITS
edwin eh biang so many years liao. all that bball games where you stay at spot A the whole time, swimming and drowning, music making, and everything else. always there and reliable. i love you mum's cooking. the rest is needless to say. (= shaheera i know i very racist ok! but i still love you! i know sometimes you're upset about stuff, i'm still here yea? need to break fast? i buy halah food for you. promise. i promise it won't be bak ku teh or cha siew pau! sheree ma! where's my pocket money! you owe me 18 years of money le ok! always there to be a motherly sheree and to bug me to do my work. POOI thanks for being there with me at the trip. really thanks. whatever it is, i'm also always here to listen ok? go history go. nixon shock. FISHBALL! i really respect you a lot you know? and you always manage to teach me something about life. values that i now hold in close to me. i try hard to grow and be more mature, but you're definitely always there. you're like my moral compass, scolding me for knocking tables, for being childish, and for doing too much nonsense. lizzy you know i really enjoyed the times when we were close. like when you were high and all our duets, and the music we made together. and the stargazing and the sunrise-watching. i really like it when you smile. so don't be too upset k? you're a friend in need. gerdine you know sometimes i look into your ang moh eyes and i see such depth in them? it's like you're holding so much within you. sometimes just let it out. you were always there when i wanted to talk. let me do the same for you. and you are the first kind of bread that can skate! you know something? i like the way you are so firm about your decisions. frim bread is always good bread. my section; trombone men; shaun stress like shit but i tell you this ok, shaun. you're not bad a friend when you're happy. like all the physics nonsense yea? so don't stress! don't emo! look at things from the most pragmatic manner and laugh things of. emo-ness doesn't solve anything. so cheers! manfred you bloody booka gamer. i enjoyed gaming with you. in fact, i never gamed before. not till i met you. now i know that you shoot red glowing things, or the base of an iron mask. and that you HAVE to press F1 if not your hero won't friggin move. it had been fun with you around. cheers to arcade games and guitar hero III. zhiwen you are damn full of nonsense i tell you. then rachel would have told me to speak for myself. but you have been help with everything as president, as friend, as section member, i'm glad that you were around! trombone 三朵花; rachel you're always hopping around and then poke poke poke, are you ok? somehow you make my day brighter. stay friendly and bubbly okay! we always get worried when you PMS and dark clouds gather. then everyone scrambles for fries. you were always there to help me keep the section together, thank you! up coming gathering i plan ok? all by myself! so don't accuse me for not planning anything at all! soomin you are like my xiao mei or something la. sometimes when i'm with you i feel this feeling of familiness. if you're feeling upset or insecure or anything, i'm always here to listen! and when you have something you want to say, just say. i don't get offended so easily! plus save you all the agony thinking and thinking and thinking. stay happy and keep making music. if you stop, i will kill you. michelle band pracs with you sometimes can be so funny. writing song lyrics and getting high. playing together with the section and everything. i can tell sometimes you get really really upset about some stuff, but you just don't want to cry. i admire your strength on how you manage to hold in everything. i on the other hand tend to be unable to. lol. whatever it is, stay happy ok! trombone boy; mong keep working. one day you'll get it. free tuition or whatever i give you ok? need someone to practice with, can just call me. i'll be more than glad. keep in mind the things i told you the other day. it always helps. you're always to happy and so jumpy, they say you're exactly like me. but you're NEVER sad! i wish i could be like that as well. whatever it is, i'll take your advice. distract right? pia! one day, join me on the stage for some trombone duet. for all you know we could make it big together.

joanne i still think of you you know? and i was just thinking the other day of how you always encouraged me and spurred me on in my music. how you always make sure i do my work, how you kept telling me music stuff and told me that one day i WILL make it out there. it made a lot of difference. you gave me so much support and i want to say that i really really appreciate it. piano lessons, anytime you want it, just ask k?

pebble mei for one i really have to thank you. you taught me something the other night. you taught me how to appreciate others. you showed me my flaws. you made me realise that i focused too much on what other people are not, rather than what other people are. you made me learn to appreciate others. and you were always there. always my little sister, always that sweet little girl, and always someone i love. PLUS can you go to bed earlier? so when you start feeling emo and call me, i will be awake to pick up your calls? omg lol. you know sometimes i wonder if you're doing fine, like what friends you hang out with, who are the people you go out with after school. i find myself in the position where i see myself like some big brother, making sure that nothing will happen to you. so don't worry me too much also ok? whatever it is, i'm always here to listen to you, to give you your big hug, to throw you into the singapore river and to just be there for you. love you lots.

friends! everyone that have left you footprints in the shores of my life, i really appreciate that you did come. even if it was just for a stroll i'm sure you did make an impact. love you all friends and wanna let you know that i do think about you sometimes, and i'm always here to lend a helping hand to anyone who asks.

if you see your friend's name on this appreciation list, please tell them to read it ok? i really really want my appreciations to go out to all of them. thx! (=

one day, some day. maybe we'll all learn to love. i read this in some chain letter. to learn to love is to start with loving your enemy. think about it.

P.S. i love you <3

PENNING it down

2008-09-10T21:52:00.001+08:00

having a poop or a wee is something we do rather often isn't it? i mean we have to. if we don't, we die. come to think of it, what a loser way it is to die.

*and we gather here today, to pay our last respects to young billy boy(if your name is billy i'm really sorry...), who suffered the horrendous fate of death, by poop. we remember the times, when he was a rebellious boy, who refused his own entry to the lavatory and would have rather hold it in than to let it out. nevertheless my friends, he was a nice boy. we also recall the times, where he... ... .. . *

okay! so i was thinking, how did we all learn to do a poo poo or a wee wee. or does it actually come naturally? like how a dog would lift its right leg when it takes a piss, or how fish just let a burst of brown fibre from its um... ass? 0.o rite. but the thing is, if it comes naturally, then what is potty training for? i saw this video lately. it's a japanese animation on potty training. and i tell you, japanese can come up with the weirdest things!

Toilet Training

so sing and dance for wee wee and poop!

anyway! that wasn't what i was really think about, but in my strange twist of illogical sequential thinking, i ended about with thoughts of the complexity of writing(yea. some how i'm still dweeling on the subject of language and writing and words and...). let me try to explain here. toileting is something we do everyday, without fail. i was then led to think about the other things that we do daily. writing was something interesting i thought of(perhaps it came to my mind because of this blog. you see, it's been ages since i was able to write like that. JC education does not permit this kind of style you see, be it in general paper essays or literature and economic essays. that would mean that it has been about a year and a half since i was able to write like this(so i really appreciate the creation of this blog.). yet there is a certain complexity in writing that we tend to ignore. which might be a good thing because that'd mean that we have the ability to do something so complex, yet not even think about the complexity of it. there are just so many things to think about when it comes to writing, but yet we doing it everyday like it were going to to toilet(yup. that's where the link comes in. ever though well, . . . i don't think there much complexity to pooping. or is there?).

writing is materializing thoughts(metaphysical) into words(physical). but it's really how we manage to capture the ideas in our heads as accurately as possible that makes it so complex. also, it is through writing that we are better able to set our thoughts into something more concrete. that's why in higher education, essays are a certainty. i recall too how collin used to tell me to write down my thoughts, when we were still talking about music and conducting techniques. i did. it helped. and perhaps that's why i'm writing down my thoughts too, in this blog. for all you know on the 100th post that i make, i'll gain some ultimate level of nirvana where i'll still to float and blog through my mind. wow. but yea right.

when we write, choosing the right words to best convey a meaning might be tough. in other cases, even finding a word is a problem. that's where i would always just say 'beyond the boundaries of my literal abilities' and then run away without further explanation. to be honest, i write till this point realising that i am finding difficulties trying to explain my thoughts. for one, it is almost as if i know that it's there, but i don't feel it at all. like i know that there is air even though i do not see it. but how did i even become aware of the complexities of writing anyway?

you see, i'm a musician and i write music too. sometimes i write music to try to convey certain emotions and thoughts, to bring out certain feelings and effects through different chord colours and techniques. i have written an article before about what music is(to me at least. i know how subjective it can get). in that article, i mentioned that music to me was a form of communication, just like speech, verse, song and dance. in all these mediums, there is connection and communication that goes on between creator and audience. just as music conveys, so does writing. writing is something we have been doing since young, perhaps that's why it comes so easy to us. but writing music is something that many of us would consider complex, wouldn't it? surely many of us would agree. since both were mediums of communication, i assumed that they all had the same complexities, just that one was used more than the other which results in our present abilities to write without too many obstacles.

here's an interesting video byte. this would illustrate how music is a form of communication. in the movie close encounter of the third kind, the aliens who descended form the heavens above communicated in music. it's really interesting, take a look at this! bright colours, and cute music.

most of the time, our thoughts tend to be all over the place. when writing, we go through a process of thought materialization, which translates it into words, each one representing an idea. for example, the word happiness would refer to the emotion which is manifested through a smile, light foot steps and relaxed body muscles. the word sorrow however, would refer to the emotion which is manifested through tears, drooping shoulders, spacing out and staring downwards. well i'm choosing emotion words as examples because i think that the accuracy that these words carry for such ideas are much lower than that of nouns. like the word apple refers to the crunchy red fruit; and hair would refer to the mass of unkempt growth on the top of my head. with slight reference to my previous entry, we then realise the complexity involved to accurately put together words, which then form phrases, and then sentences, and then paragraphs, to finally illustrate a certain idea. the key word here is accuracy.

after coming to JC and reading literature, i have come to appreciate words better. how each author chooses certain words to create setting, tone, mood, emotion etc. etc. previously, when i read books, and i think wow! this is a really good book. i never came to appreciate that the author had put so much heart and soul into carefully crafting the novel to achieve this certain desired effect. but they do. in fact when analysing music or text, we always assume that everything done is a deliberate choice. of course sometimes it's not true. for example the band classic literature JERICHO by Morton Gould, there is this part written in a 3/4 + 4/4 metre(if you don't understand, you could ask me. i'll explain to you). so during an interview, they asked him if the 3/4 + 4/4 metre was significant of the 7 days of which the 7 trumpeters(plus everyone else) would march around the walls of Jericho 7 times each day. his answer was just oh. i didn't realise!

to quickly sum things up, writing is a complex process. appreciate yourself and all else who are able to write well. understanding this, is going to put your intelligence level a couple notches higher, just because you realise that you are capable of doing something so complex. congrats.

SOME words, just beyond words

2008-09-09T22:23:00.001+08:00

we all shower in toilets don't we? i mean if you're from the havasupai tribe then maybe you bathe in the green-blue sea, or if you're from the gayogohono tribe then you probably get mud facial treatment everyday. if you're then you bathe in toilets. i mean there's got to be some reason why it's called the bathroom right?

there was this book i saw at MPH, the day we(that'd be enjia, melissa, shaheera, sheree, soomin and family and me.) went to watch turandot(which has the most cheesy ending EVER!). the book had a quirky title. it went like this - Do Dead People Watch You Shower? - And Other Questions You've Been All but Dying to Ask a Medium, By Concetta Bertoldi. there were tons of questions in there ranging from pervy questions such as - do dead people watch me have sex? do they like the view?; to more heartwarming questions - when loved ones leave this life too early or under tragic circumstances, are they eternally heartbroken or can they find peace in heaven? will my deceased father be with me when i walk down the aisle on my wedding day?

the question in question in this post isn't really a question. well it's probably not a question because i can't remember the question. but there was this mention about the universal "language" that all dead people use. it's more like thoughts don't need a middle man(language) anymore. it's almost like every single entity(dead people exist in forms of energy according to Bertoldi) had the exact same mind. emotions were felt, and thoughts are translated and read directly. in other words, there is no more problem of misinterpretation of language or the ambiguity of language itself. let's take an example.

muthu halim : hey, do you want to eat?
andrew peterson : oh no. but we can definitely sit down somewhere. i hear the food at Le Saint Julien is quite good. let's head down there, then we can have some food.
muthu halim : oh no my friend, andrew! i am muslim, i must fast. i was just worried you might get hungry! *aww how thoughtful*

you see, the assumption that andrew peterson made was that muthu halim was hungry and that he wanted to eat, resulting in the natural progression of action taken, which was to ask if andrew perterson wanted to eat. this however was not the case. let's look at another example.

joornaem sharks : ohmigosh! amy! i mean alexandra! no, i mean ayke! oh gosh i hate your name; but alexandra amy ayke! why i are you crying! what's wrong?
alexandra amy ayke : *crying* i feel so... so... sooo.... arrggghhhh!!!
joornaem sharks : why? tell me about it! i'm here for you! *hugs alexandra amy ayke(ogmigosh i hate her name too...)*
alexandra amy ayke : jason... jason said he didn't... didn't like my name!! OHMi GOSH!! *sobs really really hard (i hope you're imagining this ok. cos this is taking quite some bit of effort to type out...) *
joornaem sharks : oh amy! oh alexandra. oh ayke... ! (-.o) i know how you feel! people hate my name too! i mean, joornaem sharks(read it out, slowly)! not a very nice name right?
alexandra amy ayke : YOU SEE?!! S E E?? even YOU hate my name!! oh gosh!!!..

ok here's a short explanation of what i'm trying to say. alexandra amy ayke likes jason. like a lot. a HELL lot. for jason not to like her and ignore her for that, hurts. like a lot. a HELL lot. in joornaem sharks' case, it's just her retarded name that sharks(which sounds like sucks; in case you haven't gotten the pun, joornaem sharks sounds like your-name-sucks. so yea. good attempt! i pat myself on the back for coming up with this nonsense.) joornaem sharks thinks she understands how alexandra amy ayke feels because of the same apparent circumstances which in actual fact isn't very similar at all. the words carry the meaning proving that people hate their names, but the context behind it differs greatly and thus changes the entire circumstances. joornaem sharks obviously does not understand what alexandra amy ayke is going through and perhaps will never know. she however thinks she does just based of the words carried across. so the point i'm trying(really hard, and shaking my head to my lameness) to make here is that language, when used to carry the true emotions tends to fall short in terms of accuracy. joornaem sharks thinks that she's just blowing up something small, but in fact, amy is feeling really really really upset.

so i was saying, emotions like hope, love, frustration, sorrow, joy, euphoria and just feeling f***ed up can be so hard to express. if only we were all dead, and could read the thoughts of us, then wouldn't things be simpler? for one, there would be no misunderstandings. all intentions and emotions would be clearly put forth. sometimes i really wish i could read the minds of others. i realised now, i am beginning to care more and more about what other people think of me. it's rather irritating because i end up not being myself. i guess i'm saying this for two reasons. one because there are times where the intensity of the emotions can really be way way beyond words and no intensifier nor made up word can possibly bring it across. not only that. there is one secret that i keep within me, ever since i felt it in my early days as a child. now i still feel it, just that i don't have the time and energy to think about it so much. and it's not that i want to keep it a secret or anything. just that no matter what words i choose to use, i can never manage to bring the meaning across. well i know one person who has come close to understanding, but then i can never be sure. like joornaem, she might have just showed me that she had understood, but whether she really did or not is something i will never ever be able to grasp. second reason, i guess is because sometimes i want to be able to understand what someone is going through, just to really be there for that person. even if it's sorrow, i want to experience it to know exactly what he or she is going through. but i can't. and don't know if i can ever. oh dear this is becoming a rant...

i really apologise for the tone of this post this time around. somehow, towards the end i started feeling... gosh... i guess it's my PMS period. but recently, i've been feeling really really moody. . .

NATURAL toilets

2008-09-08T15:18:00.001+08:00

surely toilets have to be aesthetically pleasing right? it's where you either stand naked, or sit spaced out. we spend a lot of time doing nothing but stare at the wall; unless you are some self obsessed narcissistic human who stares at yourself in the mirror the whole time you're there. if that's the case then i guess your toilet should have mirrored walls from top to bottom.

then again perhaps for me, the toilet's where i do a lot of other stuff, which means that my toilet should have a bed or a sofa in it as well. and possibly air conditioning? and a tv? and a PS3 too! oh yes. i don't know if people care much about toilets at all, but i believe for one that a toilet is a room too. that means it should be properly furnished! wouldn't it be better if toilets we properly furnished? then you'd have more incentive to spend time there. you'll bathe more often, you'll keep cleaner, you'll look forward to getting out of bed cos you can brush your teeth at that beautiful sink that has fish swimming in it(well that's one option. i've seen them before though. the body of the sink itself contains water where you put little fishies in it! poor fishies would get spat on, but i'm sure they don't care!). so much more incentive to maintain hygiene! wouldn't that be great?

i always liked the idea of sitting under a waterfall in the mountains of japan, meditating and enjoying the cool spray of fresh mountain water as the aquatic curtain rains down upon the earth below. you know the kind of cave behind the waterfall where you can just sit there? imagine this with me. . .

*shimmers in*

don't see the cave? well that's cos it's BEHIND the waterfall! HA! no. it's just because i couldn't find a nice picture.

*shimmers out*

and i could go swimming to keep fit, and go diving into the plunge pool below. HOW EXCITING! and i would have a free flow of sashimi(fresh raw salmon!) during the mating season where all the adult fishies would jump right into my plate while trying to get upstream to make little fishies. oh gosh! okay so you're wondering now why the random comment about waterfalls? here's the link.

i want to have a waterfall as my shower. and a small little stool made of oak for me to sit to meditate. PLUS! the most important thing of all, a water usage metre to tell me when the bill is going to explode at the end of the month. so much for saving water yea? but if it's for psychological stability and spiritual enlightenment, maybe it's all worth the while. hm.

okay. on a more serious note...

i really enjoy going to toilets with nice designs. they're always much more inviting. i wonder if the ladies have nicer toilets than the guys. maybe that's why they take so long... i've been to some toilets with really nice sinks. the sinks are so nice that you just want to wash your hands there. and the soap too, so nice smelling that you just want to wash you hands two times. and after you move on to the hand drying machine that drys your hands in such an instant that it leaves them so nice and dry and crispy that you just want to wash your hands all over again so that you can dry them twice. not to mention all these done BEFORE you actually go around doing your business. so then you head over to the cubicles and you see the cleanest toilets that you have ever seen!(oh just a side note, i love to sleep on the toilet seats, you know with your head on the seat cover? yea. pretty comfortable actually. you should try it.) inviting toilets are always the best. its almost like the U bend is calling out to you "come! come and sit on me! feed me! feeeEEDD MEEE!!!".

right. i'm sorry.

but you've got to admit that inviting toilets are nice to sit on. have you ever been to those kind of toilets where the toilet seats are smeared with shit and rained on by unethical pee-ers who cannot aim? i guess that's for the guys toilets. i'm not too sure about the female ones(i will try to find out.), but sometimes, guys really CANNOT aim! i tell you, toilets can really differ. once i sneaked into one-fullerton hotel to check out their lavatory(must use nice term for nice hotel) and it was one of the best toilets i have ever seen! there was soft music(probably to help with the shitting process), nice air conditioning(to air your privates? o.o), and even this dude that's at the door to offer you towels to wipe your hands dry(what a job i tell you...)! everything was so clean! so clean i would lick the floor to save a cow from a lemon. eh... don't get the link? neither do i. all i'm trying to say is that it's so clean one could lick the floor if need be.

so that's the high end toilets. china? that's where you find the most um. yea... i think you get what i mean. no doors, no flush, not even a toilet bowl sometimes - more like a hole in the ground. but that was pre-olympics. i heard that they were planning on upgrading the toilets in beijing(or rather adding doors on them) in view of the olympics. now that it's all over, i'm not sure what the state is like now, but i sure hope it's better!

so we have this whole range of toilet standards, and i was thinking while sitting in the toilet, that my future toilet shall bring toilet standards to a whole new level! a waterfall shower, an oak stump stool, a high stone sink and many natural potted plants to cancel out the smell! plus you could just pee on them if you couldn't wait to walk a few more steps to the U bend. my dream toilet. it would really be nice wouldn't it? then maybe it'd have a walk in wardrobe with a nature theme to it as well! wow. wouldn't it be great to have a natural toilet? it's like god's beauty brought right into that very special room. isn't it just wonderful?

*~*

oh oh. and i think i got the link. saving a cow from a lemon is something retarded to do. thus so is licking the floor. but since the floor is so clean, it renders toilet floor licking a perfectly sensible thing to do. there. (=

FASHION for females?

2008-09-06T18:25:00.000+08:00

toilets are where we wash up and dress up - for most of us at least. it's where we stare deep into the mirrors and dunk our fingers into tubs of wax and clay, leaving our hairs caked with all sorts of adhesives; where we suck in our tummies to make sure the chest-waist proportion is alright, desperately stuffing tissues into those one-size-too-large cups to get things right and going; where we keep changing shirts over and over and over again trying to find that perfect match; so on and so forth, and finally emerging from the toilet after hours of dolling up. i'm sure many of us would agree.

fashion has been since forever. since tiger skins and sheep's wool; since china's silk and india's cotton; since the coats and the rags; all the way to Tshirts and denim jeans and now, tattoos - literally tailored just for you skin. but whatever it was or is, it seems that fashion favoured the feminine gender all the way since it's humble beginnings(yea. as animal skin. i'm pretty sure bird feathers were included for the girls to look pretty!). i was just taking a look around me, that is the mall, fashion books, the library, blogshops and thinking of my costumer friend johanna. she mentioned something about it being hard to make clothes for guys cos you just can't do much to it. just not enough variation, she said.

think about it - ball, or let's say prom night.

the girls all dress to kill

let's look at the guys...

umm... shirt. shirt. shirt.

um... let's see what else...

um... ... . . .

this might take a while...

um... AH! T SHIRT. um... yea. pretty much that.

look back at the times when you(for the guys that is) were shopping with your sister or girlfriend(or mom)(well i do shop with my mom sometimes!). you walk into this HUGE mall and you take a deep breath, knowing very well how long you'd be stuck there, and wishing how very hard you should have bought a PSP(the very worthy investment for all men out there. shopping with your girl? waiting for your girl to meet you? *she'd be late. after all she has always been. BUT! she's late all because she wants to dress nice for you! so that's fine (=* waiting for the queue at the girl's toilet to finally MOVE!!! yea. and stuff like that. PSP. your handy partner for life. a man's best friend.). you look around, and amaze yourself at the wide selections of gowns, blouses, dresses, shorts, skirts, short skirts, even shorter skirts, mini skirts, micro skirts, underwear skirts? 0.o right. the girls dive in, giving you the *oh!-you-could-take-a-look-at-the-guy's-section!-i'll-call-you-if-i-need-you-kay?-muacks-luvvies* signal(when she needs you? it's more like when she needs your card). so you get the cue and you make your way through the jungle of fabric and textile and after carefully following the arrows, you arrive at the men's corner. and you realise how literal the term men's corner could have have been. one rack? maybe one and a half? pretty much that yea? one erm. corner. you get what i mean i'm sure you do. but it's pretty pathetic don't you think?

i was at the library just, trying to look up some books. well i couldn't find them in the system so i decided to muse around the arts section of shelves to see what i could find. picking up fashion in the movies, i thumbed through the pages(ignoring one which had this huge torn out hole in it) only to find most of the featured costumes, all for females. as for the male features, they were all about batman suits and superman's over-wear sense of toilet fashion. i have to admit though, that the female features were rather stunning, but sad still, nothing for the guys.

really, this isn't a rant about why men have nothing nice to wear. i was just thinking if guys will ever be able to super accessorize like how the girls do. recall the mention of johanna? she was talking about how for girls you could sew on flowers and butterflies, make it all colourful and everything, but for a guy what can you do? i wonder too, you know.

i never used to bother about what i wear or how i look and everything. not until recently. well i thought that it didn't matter. i wasn't the vain sort anyway; but one day i read this article and it said that girls like guys who bother to look good. and then it went BAM! like a 18-wheeler ramming it's front fender right in my face. eh eh! don't get it wrong, i'm not trying to hook up some girl or anything. it just suddenly occured to me that i should bother to look decent. i remember the times soo min would go omg "your hair damn ugly la!" right in my face, and i'm like oh wells! but i decided that it should be the case anymore. one should make an effort! so i asked my pebble xiao mei for a fashion makeover. don't know when that will happen, but perhaps i should start by eating veg and taking care of my skin... and sleeping more... and... ok. we're digressing.

i was never the fantastic seamster. in fact i was never one before. my grander mother was. a pretty famous one in fact. but i guess i like creating things. i have been thinking hard lately, of the reasons why masculine fashion has fallen short to that of his female counterpart. perhaps it's the lack of fashionable masculine symbols? perhaps it has something to do with society are our respective role? or the physical make up? or maybe. . . hmm... this will definitely be something to toilet about! ha!

i guess it was just for the thinking and brain grinding, but i was thinking if there is still a possibility to create a new niche in fashion, a whole new kinda of fashion wear. like how jeans first came about? like how the idea of pants emerged after the whole tradition of robes and long long dresses? or when the first Tshirt was made? is there still room for creation? like the new style of dressing? who knows!

for one, whatever that guys wear, girls can probably look good in as well. so i might as well just give in to the fact that girls look better. they do! there are many pretty girls out there, and i bet you are one of them. yea you(well if you're a girl that is...). <3

DANCES in the loo

2008-09-05T23:34:00.001+08:00

toilets are places where you do shameless stuff, aren't they? people do all sorts of stuff in the toilets! you stare at the mirror, be vain, jump up and down(that's for me...), sleep, cry, read, eat(i think that's for me too...), sing and dance and many many more! well surely many of us would agree with that. i bet soo min sings in the toilet. . .

singing and dancing is really quite part of our lives isn't it. but i think there is something just so special about dance. how the body moves, how it strikes together with the music; you see, the way the body moves is really a physical manifestation of ones sense of rhythm. lately i've been looking up some kinds of music. the kind of music probably you wouldn't expect a classical person like me to go for. people always have this impression that musicians would go for chopin, sibelius and debussy. me? i mean yea i do like those stuff! i like jazz too. come to think of it, i have been looking up a pretty many genres of music. let's take a look. . .

Butterfly Mega Remix
Bumble Bee
Caramel Dansen
God Knows Euro Mix

ya know? these kinda music? i don't know if you would call it techno or what, but yes! it's the dance remixes that i like! ohmigosh these are the things that get me HIGH!!!

oh perhaps i started youtubing all these music was because i was looking for background music for the blog. but i decided that i should remain silent. to make up for the silence, i decided to make sure i include some music bites such as this, to introduce my world of music to you, all from the edge of the U bend

so anyway, after you watch all those videos, you kinda feel danc-y already don't you? not to mention my xiao mei is some hip hop dancer. PLUS i always wanted to dance. PLUS i really love getting high and moving around! ohmiGOSH.

okay. back to earth. i was just thinking what makes dancing different. what makes a particular dancer stand out. ok i'm not bragging or anything, but last year end, when i was in china with my school for an exchange programme, we did a mass dance as a performance for them. during one of the practices, my friend told me that this other guy and i really stood out amongst all the rest. i mean i was like *aww really? you flatter me! **blush** * no, but i wasn't doing anything special... i was just, dancing the steps. perhaps it because i have a keener sense of rhythm? i remember popping to techno beats sounding from shops since i was four. other than that, i really don't know what makes a dancer stand out. someone tell me?

nevertheless, i really really really wanna learn to dance! like proper dancing! gliding, and popping and shuffling and HINDI PUMP UP THE BANGRA kinda stuff. oh gosh! how nice it would be to be able to dance! dance people dance. dance is life, dance is love <3

DOES that U bend exist?

2008-09-04T03:47:00.000+08:00

whatever the case is, the toilet's still my prefered place for thought, and will always remain so. i'm sure i would agree! why of course i'm me. then who am i if i am me? wait a minute! if i am me then me is i. then who's maggie!

i was watching the animatrix just last night, approximately 12 hours ago; and i suddenly recalled a recent phase in my life. it was a questionable phase... *dark ambiance* a phase, of questions. . . yes... questionable questions in a questionable phase of questionable questions... how FREAKY! (=

i remembered my birthday present too. the one joanne gave me on de cartes philosophy. the possibility of ultimate deception and the existence of inexistance. heh. sounds so cheeeem! but no. the whole first meditation is really on this one thing. doubt everything doubtable. in other words, what de cartes did in his withdrawal, was to to doubt everything that was possibly doubtable. ie. that the most basic of awareness - the five senses, could be lying. it is said that optical illusions do exist. if your eyes can deceive you once, it can do it again, can't it? and that since your senses can delude you, would there then be the possibility that they have been deluding you all the while? de cartes then proceeded to attempt to find a point of ultimate certainty where he could base the entire existence of the world on. well, he couldn't. this was the theory of the deceptive devil. the devil with power so strong he could constantly and certainly deceive our senses and make us perceive only what he wants us to perceive.

there was one quote by de cartes that i believe many of us know. cogito, ergo sum. in english, that'll be I THINK, THEREFORE I AM. then there was this other knowledge inquiry book that i read, that argued against de cartes's cogito, ergo sum theory. if one thinks to exist, does one stop existing once he or she stops thinking? does that mean that physical existence would seize once one dies? but that does not seem to be the case, does it? for one still continues to exist in the form of a corpse. how about those laspes in our thoughts? do we flicker out of existence when we space out and just stone? but honestly, if you think about it, such existential questions are simply questions that will lead on to more questions. other than for the sake of intellectual stimulation, don't bother thinking. really. been there, done that.

i remember how i slowly brought that questionable phase to an end. i decided not to question. LOL what a way. what i mean is that it doesn't matter if you got the TRUTH or not. as long as it works in the end, the ends pretty much justify the means. after all we don't have control of the means anyway. it's like how conventional current in physics? centuries back we all believed that it were the protons that moved. the positive charge that produced the electricity as they flowed through the circuit. hundreds of scientific discoveries, theories and thesis were written and recorded based on it. the low and behold! protons don't move! it was then found out, through the gold sheet experiment(i think) that each atom consists of a immovable core consisting of protons and neutrons. it were the negatively charged electrons that moved on the outside. it were the electrons that moved in the circuit! OH NO! they got the facts wrong! but who cares you see, it still works in the end. it doesn't matter who moves, by relativity and a matter of perspective, it's pretty much still the same. so i came to the conclusion that my existence or inexistance doesn't matter. as long as it works. i'm still blogging, will still be. the world still exists as perceived by me, through my eyes and my other 4 senses. i still feel hungry, and will still feel hungry until i am fed. i still feel emotions and i still can't walk through the toilet door or fall through a toilet bowl. so don't bother questioning it. you'll probably never find an answer. nevertheless, i'm glad i tried to and might try to again. but as of now, i'm happy with what's going on. and happy that maggie mee does exist, for it will be the very thing that will vanquish the existence of my hungry and growling stomach.

TOILET waste? fuel hike? how about shit?

2008-09-04T01:23:00.000+08:00

toilets are places to think, definitely, but they aren't the only places that allow you the freedom to come up with the most retarded things. i'm sure irna would agree. talk about airplane toilets. . . anyway, any place allows you all the freedom in the world to come up with any amount of retarded stuff of any retarded intensity. it's just whether you'd want to or not.

so the new blog is set up, and while linking the QMrm Toilets section(pipelines), i realised i didn't have irna's full name. well, now i do. irna nurlina binte masron. cool name eh? but that's not the point. you should have seen her display picture. it was a beautiful photo of the sunrise from the plane on the way to switzerland. gorgeous. planes. fly. planes... have toilets too don't they? and in my series of twisted logic, i started thinking what they do with shit on the plane. i mean, what if it's a long flight? wouldn't there be a lot of shit accumulated? think. WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH ALL THAT SHIT!

so i thought, would it be possible if they let all the shit go while flying over the ocean?

*brrzzt*
okay crew, take your positions. we are now directly above the black sea. secure all lavatory exits and seal off all U bends. we are about to let it all go!

3...
2..
1.

*censored* *brown rain. think... coco rice cereal... gosh...*

but they can't do that can they? irna said it'd be polluting the sea. it'd be equivalent to ships dumping toxic waste into the ocean. then there i was, trying to draw the link between a ship's toxic waste and shit coming out of a plane. no. don't image. i have been there, done that.

then why would they? and irna suggested that the shit could be used as fuel. THINK ABOUT THAT! wow! oil taxes? higher prices? eat shit! why not eh?

*brrzzt*
good evening, this is your captain speaking. due to our long flight, we are currently running low on fuel. all passengers who wish to relief their rectal muscles of tension are most encouraged to do so. you may head towards the nearest toilets to release your waste. this waste can then be put to greater use to ensure our safe landing at our arriving destination. remember, more shit, more flight. thank you for your cooperation and have a safe journey.

imagine hearing that over the PA system! what the ding dang would that be all about! think about it.

GOOD intentions

2008-09-03T23:34:00.000+08:00

it became clear to me that the toilet was the best place to be. the best place to be if you wanted to be alone, to think, to ponder, to cry and to do whatever you want to do alone. i'm sure rachel agrees. after all that's where she always withdraws to when she's upset during sectionals and decides she doesn't want to see my face anymore. heh.

i was thinking about this phrase. the road to hell is paved with good intentions. then i was pondering over how being nice might just lead to something unexpected and just simply backfire at you. trust me. it happens. sometimes when you want to do something sweet for someone you love, and things somehow get mixed up? gosh! what happens after that is just simply misunderstanding and more misfortune. last night something happened. i don't blame him for his reaction, perhaps i should have thought it through before doing anything. i told shaun to look up the BBC musician of the year awards on youtube. he was feeling dejected, i saw on his msn nick, so i thought some music might cheer him up.

ok here's the thing. for me, if i'm upset, music like this cheers me up. even though i'll swear and being noobish and lousy and complain about being owned by youtube videos, it still makes me feel better in the end. the music makes me feel better. knowing that there are musicians out there who really enjoy doing their thing, makes me feel better. and getting owned, gives me the motivation to do better the next time around. i guess shaun wasn't quite the same.

he accused me of trying to make him feel more dejected and make him feel smaller. yes. i should have THOUGHT about it before doing anything. my bad. i'm sorry shaun.

in the end, sometimes you wonder if the intention is the one that really matters. if the intention is not known, would something still remain morally up/downright(since the intention per action determines the direction the moral compass points)? i'm just thinking of what things are and what the seem. my view of it? what it seems is more than what it is. afterall how can we perceive the metaphysical?